I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
