we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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