How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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