i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
