its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
