I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Randomize
