and she was petting her beer can
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
