return my video game
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize