Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
