Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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