If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
