i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
