She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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