I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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