Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
