My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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