I got chris browned last night
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
