I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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