Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
