not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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