Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
