Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
