you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The air was thick with penises
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
