Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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