ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
