SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
