go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
