A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
