come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
