And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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