I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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