Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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