At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
