I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My bed smells like the plague
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