Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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