I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
