i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
