Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
