are you so shy because you have an std?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
