"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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