you would pick up someone in the library
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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