You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize