i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
