So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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