I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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