Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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