We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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