I wish I could teleport
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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