You made me cry and you don't even care
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
