My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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