$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
