About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
