Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did you pee in the oven last night??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
