Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
