its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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