her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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