did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
