i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
