so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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