I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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