Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
